Just you, your lover, and a cup of coffee by the fire… Oh but wait, what are these mini-humans whining for food, asking you to take them to the pooper and tugging on your pant leg until their bed is ready? Truly, alone time seems like a thing of the past once these creatures start poppin’ out of ya! I’m not writing this as if I have a magic wand that will give you alone time. I’m here explaining how extremely important it is and to give some tips on how to try for alone time along the way. Note: some of this may be rated a bit of PG-13 so tread carefully 🙂
First of all… you need to be bff’s.
Here’s a best friend test:
Wife: “Our new neighbor always kisses his wife when he leaves for work. Why don’t you do that?”
Husband: “How can I? I don’t even know her.”
Did you laugh at this?
80% of people who laughed at this are married to their best friend.
80% of stats are made up on the spot.
We told our 3 year old daughter (as we do every night) “it’s time for bed.” Only this time, she started uncontrollably sobbing. Once we calmed her down finally I asked her what was going on. “It’s just… while Wemy, I, go to sweep in my big gurl bed… you get to stay up and eat chocolate and cuddle with my dada, the Pwince charming!” Then lost it crying again.
While at the time I was a bit annoyed that she was flipping out (and also a touch annoyed that she thinks he’s only HER Prince Charming!) later I realized something so very cool & something I hope she would always know… She knew mom and dad spent & ENJOYED time together. If your kids know how important you are to each other & take time for each other, the benefits will be endless. They will feel secure in their family, they will feel confident in life.
Alright I’m about to move on and give some practical tips & advice of how to find those ‘alone’ moments while traveling. However, not all of these are actually going to get you two “boppin’ squiddles”. Some of these are just to help for you to connect for a moment without the littles crawling up your skin, while living in close quarters.
Use the road trip/ plane ride! Many times the planning, packing & anticipation can wear you out and we check out. Totally get it, but if at all possible, plan things ahead of time so that during the actual travel you can spend time together. For us this is when we make plans for the future, listen to our favorite book on tape together (if on the plane) watch our favorite movie together… and hold hands gosh darn it! These have been some of the best bonding times starting our trip off right.
Make sure you pack small activities. Most people think about packing activities for the kids during the traveling part, but what about when you get there? You’re going to need that minute in the morning to sip your coffee or in the afternoon to read a book! Be sure you have activities packed that they are able to do by themselves. (Ideas: Coloring, washable painting & a roll of paper, a bucket with a list of ‘treasures’ to find, games, etc.)
If possible, at a young age get them used to falling asleep without you. This was a struggle for me for a long time. But once we could leave them in their own sleeping area without us, we could finally have that hour or so in the evening to be JUST US again. It’s life changing if you haven’t been used to it for a few years 🙂 Don’t waste it, cuddle hard.
Do you have more ideas? Be sure and leave a comment! I’d love to hear them.
Even though these tips might not allow you to “enter the castle”, I hope this still helps you connect more. Let’s build the next generation of humans who know how to build strong relationships and homes of their own. They are watching! Oh and after you could those stars don’t forget that kiss goodnight.